Repetition

It is in this feeble state of consciousness
that an unconscious mind arose.
It grew in the somberness of teardrops,
It grew like a hunger grows.
The salt bit my lip so un-caring.
Thoughts writhed over in pain.
The flooded remorse almost daring,
to dig up the already slain
and it happend again and again.

Gurl

A girl sits alone on the curb in a pink sequined top
smoking a cigarette and holding flip flops
the night before she was queen in a world of misfits
something she'd looked forward to all that day:
Dancing and grinding her way to the center of the floor
she had attention but she wanted much more
fake smiles and drinks filled the void for the time
submerging her sorrows in sparkle and shine.
girl life is too heavy for your light hearted games
you can't live your life this way day after day.

Spider Webs and Lollipops

Spider webs glistened in the sun
No one saw them but me.
The birds were singing
No one heard them but me
The sun was sweet but the air was sweeter
No one tasted the day.

Unfinished

Under the rotten, soggy and green wooden plank laid a dirty key. The key I knew well. It was like an old friend I hadn't seen in ages. I rubbed its muddy surface between my fingers and little balls of rich dirt fell to the ground. The feel of the cold metal from the key and the thick fog that hung in the air made me hungry and even more excited. I looked off in the distance wide eyed, trying to focus in on the old house that the key belonged to. The organic smell of forgotten land hauntingly made its way to my nose and I shut my eyes for a moment remembering the last time I was here. I was sad for a fleeting second but then curiosity and the quest for understanding took me over. There was no turning back...
20 years ago: A young Indian (Native American) girl was running through a large corn feild when I arrived at my new foster home. Her hair was long, dark and wild. She looked about 10 years old. I didn't see the little boy at first but he was trailing behind her whining that she was going too fast. She stopped short and hugged a giant corn stalk with her right arm as if it were her best friend’s shoulders. She starred at me with her dirty face; her chest heaving and her mouth open a little, trying to catch her breath. The little boy, who I figured was her brother, stood behind her and tugged at her faded and stained tweety bird t-shirt.

I turned and looked out the opposite window in the back seat of my counselors Chevy Cavelier. As the right side of the car faced the corn field and the house, the left side faced a large empty meadow with an old rusty swing set in the center. At the far edge of the meadow was a row of huge willow trees standing somberly at guard. It was a hazy, warm and silent day. The clouds hung so low in the sky that they seemed to muffle all of the daily sounds of the world. A crow cawed from somewhere in the distance and I noticed the screen door to the house open up to welcome my counselor. The house was plain. It was a faded white farmhouse that faced out towards the open meadow.

Days

I once talked to an old woman
She was offering advice
when I asked her about love she said
"listen well, I'll tell you twice"
Love is a warm breeze of freedom
it's a painful yet effortless dance
Love is a game you don't know that you're playing
it's an intuitively strong alliance

When I questioned, she nodded
said "you'll know love you won't have to be prodded.
I told you this first and I'll tell you this last
this thing you call love has got a long past.
You won't hear this last but from me you heard it first
Love is the water that quenches your thirst.
and it plays with the curls on the back of your neck
it's the knowing queen of hearts at the top of the deck
only you can posses it in it's purest form
but what is a rose without it's thorns?
remember thorns can cut, love is meant to pierce the skin
so don't love too sharply or try to take a hold
of a soul that's only yours because thats what you've been told
You've got to feel it in you, and feed it, and see it grow
a boat will not glide through the water unless there's someone who will row.

Gossip is Queen here

I love small towns simply for the stories that are generated. Example: We own a wood lot up the road from where we are living. Last summer my husband drove by one day and noticed an umbrella under a large tree by the side of the road. He then noticed a pair of shoes coming out from underneith the umbrella and realized a man was connected to the shoes. He stopped on the side of the road and yelled out to the man to see if he was ok. The man sleepily awoke and told him (in a foreign accent) that he had been walking a long distance and was tired so he fell asleep under the big oak tree because it had a lot of shade. My husband noticed the man had a large black bag and felt a little strange about the situation. We are in the middle of nowhere and for this man to be sleeping under our tree was odd to say the least. Also, my husband is a former Marine who served in Iraq so his paranoia is a lot higher than most. He went to our neighbor's house and they decided to call the Sheriff just to be on the safe side. The Sheriff came, checked the guy out and actually gave him a ride to where ever he was going. He had an Italian passport and was presumably harmless. We told only our family members about the situation because it wasn't a big deal; it was just out of the ordinary.

A week later:
My friend called me and asked me why I hadn't told her what happened. "What do you mean?" I asked. She explained to me how her husband had been in the grocery store and a woman he knew asked him if he heard anything about the strange Middle Eastern man with a black bag who had been arrested for snooping around on our property! I couldn't contain my laughter. The most bizarre part of the whole ordeal was how this woman in the store had even heard about it in the first place! ----->Gossip is Queen here

The Moon

The Moon dipped it's tail in black inky sea and it floated on top of the waves
It wanted to dive to the bottom but decided instead to behave
So only at night when the water is just right will the moon voluntarily sink
Down to the depths of the shell crusted floor
To light up the ocean from bottom to shore
And then in the light of the water at night
The sky will be black as black as ink
Then only at night when the sky is just right will the moon voluntarily sink